My Six Running Tips for Race Day

Nearly two weeks ago, I ran my first marathon ever, the Chicago marathon. And it was. . . fun! As one of my friends smirked, "those two words don't belong in the same sentence." Believe me, I never thought I would categorize a marathon as fun. I was a very casual runner prior to this. Marathons seemed like something for two populations: serious runners, and washed-up athletes like me, looking for something to achieve. But the electrifying atmosphere that was the city of Chicago truly made for a 26.2 mile party. Was it hard? Of course. Those last five miles were grueling. The final mile seemed unending. Yet, the good, bad, and the downright ugly (my feet after the race) still made for an experience I would re-live in a pounding, exhausted heartbeat. Based on my race day experience, I've come up with six tips and tricks that can make running any race fun and achievable.

You'd never know this was at mile 22 #fakeittillyoumakeit

Some pictures are so terrible but hilarious they have to be shared

Set a goal for yourself

Whether your goal is simply to finish before your big sister in the 4th of July three mile run (I'm lookin' at you, Peter Thompson!) or to qualify for the Boston marathon, having a goal will guide your training and motivate you when your body wants to give up during the race. Goals should be attainable, but not impossible; they should also be challenging, but not guaranteed. For instance, I knew I couldn't run the marathon at an elite pace (sub-6:00 minute miles was not attainable for me) but I speculated if I adhered to a training plan, I might be able to run a Boston qualifying time. Your goals could be finishing your first 5K, 10K, half, or marathon, achieving a certain time or pace, or completing a race without stopping or walking, among many others. Research has shown that just writing down your goal increases your likelihood of achieving it, so put a pen to paper, friend!

Put your name on your shirt

Hands down, wearing my name on my shirt was the key to my success—and the reason I had such a blast! With "KELSEY" displayed boldly across my chest, I never went more than a few steps without hearing "GO KELSEY!" "You got this, Kelsey!" "You look so good Kelsey!" "Kelsey, you make this look easy!" and even chanting, "kelsey...Kelsey....KELSEY!"—all from complete strangers! The highlight of these personalized cheers, however, was hearing one of the live bands spontaneously incorporate my name into their song as I ran by.

Each time I heard my name, I couldn't help but smile (well, maybe except for those last few miles), which—bonus!—helps alleviate the physical pain. Putting your name on your shirt (directly or via duct tape) or on your bib will make you feel like your own friends and family are lining the race course.

Set some #squadgoals

However, not every race has 1.2 million spectators, so it might be a good idea to have your actual friends and family (#squad) come cheer you on. Based on my predicted pace and the local train stops, my husband made a plan to see me at six different points! He sent out his plan to friends of ours so they could join him or know where and when to spot me! 

For big races like the Chicago marathon, it's a good idea go over which mile-markers, landmarks, and even what side of the street they will be waiting on (i.e. mile 8, by Stan's Donuts, on the west side of the street). For a race that isn't as crowded, it might be nice to be surprised by your loved ones along the way!

Trust your training

"How did you calm your pre-race jitters?" one of my friends asked to me afterwards. "Well, I knew I could do it, based on my training. I was still nervous-excited for the race, but I. . . "  "You trusted your training," she finished for me. And that was exactly it. Of course, there is adrenaline before any race, regardless of its size, gravity, or value to you, and that's a good thing! But trusting in the work, hours, and dedication you've put in to prepare for race day can help quell any fears and feelings of inadequacy. Reflect on all your hard work and trust that the training program you stuck to will get you through that 5K, 10K, half, or marathon! The race is your reward for all that training the days your legs were tired, you didn't want to get out of bed, and no one was watching.

Have (or find!) a running buddy

A key to being held accountable to your training program or to your pace on race day is to have a running buddy! You're less likely to crawl back into bed when your alarm goes off if you have someone waiting at the corner to run with you. During the race, you and your buddy can motivate each other when the going gets tough, and take turns setting the pace. While I didn't have a buddy to run the entire race with me (though I did have my friend Carol for eight miles + Anthony the last few!) I found one around mile 17. I kept noticing someone, whom I later found out to be a high school senior named Richard, running close by. He asked if he could pace with me, and I said sure. As we entered the most challenging part of the marathon, I relied on him as much as he had relied on me, dropping bits of encouragement to each other, complete strangers. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself and buddy up with someone running your pace, if they don't mind. The extra breath at the moment will be worth it in the long run.

With about half a mile left, Richard sprinted ahead of me to finish. I prayed I would find him among the masses so I could thank him for helping get me to the end. 

. . . Thankfully, I did!

Pray

Two of the ways I passed the time on my longer training runs was listening to podcasts by Fr. Mike Schmitz, and praying rosaries for certain intentions. On race day, when my legs felt like they were going to fall off at mile 21, I started praying a rosary in my head, imploring Jesus and His mother Mary to help me through the end. Many miles earlier, I had seen a Planned Parenthood along the course, and made a mental note to offer up my impending pain for the lives lost in that building. So on mile 21, I prayed a rosary with that intention. Meditative praying like this can be a way to take the focus off of your aching body. It helps you pass the time while keeper a greater purpose in mind. 

One thing I took away from a Fr. Mike podcast, was the ability to make any period of time—running, resting, driving—a sacrament and a sacrifice. Asking God, "Father, be with me during this time" makes it a sacrament, and telling Him, "Father, I give you this time," makes it a sacrifice to him. So, when you get to the crux of your training or your race, turn to God, and let Him help you through it.

No matter what race you're running, or even if you're training for another sport altogether, hopefully these tips make your experience happier and holier. Thank you to everyone who supported me in this marathon by donating to Girls On The Run on my behalf!

With a little grace,

               Kelsey

For more running tips, be sure to check out Molly on the Move!

Take Your Black Romper from Day to Night

Well, this is something that I haven't done yet: two consecutive style posts. While this journal wouldn't be "me" if I didn't include the style component, I never intend to stray too long from the heart of the matter: faith, culture, relationships, and families. Nonetheless, the September weather turned quickly here in Chicago, thus urging me to post these photos by the talented Ashley Bernet before the snow is upon us! 

Another trend that has blown up over the past few years are rompers and jumpsuits. While I was specifically in search for a floral romper for a long time, the only two rompers I ended up buying were black rompers. Why? Well, I tend to gravitate towards timeless pieces. Rompers—especially floral ones—aren't exactly timeless (but are nonetheless adorable). And while it's not always about buying sensible pieces, the neutral color helped me work this very trendy piece of clothing into my wardrobe. 

I came to learn, however, that a black romper can be worn like a LBD (little black dress—which every woman should have in her closet), only it's more versatile. More versatile than a simple LBD? Yes. Dressing down a silk black dress for daytime is a little trickier than its silky romper counterpart (though I'm up for the challenge). Let me explain. . . 

Day

At first, I didn't know how to wear this frilly, silky black romper casually, without looking like I was going out. I realized I had to let the other details of my outfit do the explaining. A hat (like my "Pharrell hat" as my sisters call it) instantly dresses down—but adds dimension to—an outfit. Bonus? It covers up your unwashed (x3 days) greasy hair. Simple makeup (i.e. no bold lip—can't believe I just said that) also helps express the informality of the outfit. Add some relatively flat shoes or sandals (animal print is a plus) and a fun pop of color (like my cross-body clutch) and you're ready for class, daytime sightseeing, lunch with a friend, shopping, or a leisurely walk in the park (or jungle). Rawr.

 

Night

If you haven't figured it out yet, the key to changing up your look for day and night is how you accessorize. Take off the hat (might need some dry shampoo for that), switch out your flats for heels (wedges are a more comfortable version) and load on the jewelry. Black clothing acts as a neutral canvas, so feel free to put on the glam bracelets and bangles, fancy watch, and—my favorite—statement earrings. A sleek, black purse or clutch, adds another dimension of dazzle, especially if it has a chain. At this point, the ensemble is glam enough without a bold lip color, but whoever said no to that? (. . . other than my husband.) As I've said before, I view a bold lip more as a part of the outfit (like an accessory) rather than makeup—and this "oxblood" color is huge for fall. It's all about wearing it with confidence. Ooh la la! 

So, get out your black romper for a final rendezvous before the snow and ice hit. But nonetheless, these transitional tactics can be applied to a black jumpsuit, LBD, or a black monochromatic ensemble into the winter months!

with a little grace,

              Kelsey

*All Photos by Ashley Bernet*

Three Transitional Looks, One Top

As the humidity and warm summer temps finally start to drop, we usually start packing away our summer wardrobe. But not so fast with those off-the-shoulder tops I saw everywhere this summer! I am never one to limit a piece of clothing to one season—what a waste! I styled three looks to save your OTS (off-the-shoulder, obviously) top from getting packed away with the swimsuits and bright colors. 

elegant

Whether you're heading to rooftop cocktails in the city with your girlfriends, a dinner date with your beau, or even a dressy Sunday brunch with the fam, your OTS top will provide just the right amount of sexy while the trousers keep it classy. (And yes, you can wear white after Labor Day—especially this eggshell shade!) Elegant accessories like a beaded clutch, a long strand of pearls, double pearl earrings, and nude heels pull the matured look together—voila! 

• styling with a little grace: The key to this polished look is keeping both the top and trousers in the neutral color family. Steer clear of brights and bold patterns here, especially when transitioning to fall.

back-to-school cool

Want to make an impression this school year without trying too hard? An OTS top paired with fitted boyfriend jeans will do just the trick for class. Think: an update on the simple jeans and tee combo. Classic shades and bold earrings add interest and texture to the ensemble without distracting. And the perfect fall shoe? Blue suede shoes (er, loafers). You can dress them up or down, the color (navy) goes with everything, they're not as summery as sandals or as wintery as boots, and more versatile than flats. Win, win, win, win!

• styling with a little grace: The key to the finding the perfect pair of boyfriend jeans is to follow the Goldilocks principle: not too tight but not too loose, not too many rips but not too smooth. . . justttt right.

savoring summer

Floral shorts—for fall?! Hear me out: you know those September days that still feel like August (um, today)? Paired with an OTS top, floral shorts help you make the most of your last summer days. And remember that scene from The Devil Wears Prada when Meryl Streep sneers, "Florals? For spring? Groundbreaking." Well, Miranda Priestly would be proud of us now for breaking the seasonal spring trend. Florals for fall. It's happening. 

• styling with a little grace: While we're savoring summer, let's talk sandals. My sandal of choice to carryover into the warm fall days? These bone-colored Jacks. So many varieties, so many ways to wear them. They really go with everything!

 

shop similar styles... 

 

With a little grace,

          Kelsey

** All Photos by Ashley Bernet — Thank you so much, Ashley! **

Wedding Planning with Grace

When my now-husband, Anthony, was initially courting me, he made fun of me for my seeming-obsession with weddings. When he saw me run down the street to see a bride outside the church, he laughed and said, "I'm sure you have your whole wedding planned out in boxes under your bed." Well, this was 2011, so magazine cut-outs stored in boxes was a little outdated. But, this was 2011, so having a digital equivalent to his notion was completely accurate. Psh, boxes—where had he been, living under a rock? It’s called Pinterest—keep up, Anthony. So in that sense, boy was he right—cue my (multiple?) wedding Pinterest boards. Simply put, I love weddings, and I loved wedding planning.
 

Looking at all the sweet, smiling brides in wedding photos on Pinterest, you might forget that becoming a bridezilla is a reality for many brides. As soon as the planning process began, I was acutely aware of this potential trap, and did my best to avoid it. That said, I was not perfect. As much as I genuinely enjoyed wedding planning, I had a few unmet expectations and frustrations that inevitably caused some less-than-stellar moments. That’s why I loved when one of my readers asked me to share tips on how to plan a wedding with grace (of course I loved the connection to my journal’s title, too). How to be joyful throughout the planning of such a momentous occasion while still being realistic and productive? Well, read on.

Remember, a wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime

Okay I know, I know, this is what my “Marriage Monday” posts are for. But this is also the most important piece of advice to remember as you wedding plan. Anthony and I were overwhelmed with joy and excitement after getting engaged—it was the happiest I have felt second only to our wedding day. Just a day after getting engaged, we headed over to the church to pick a date for the next summer. Everything starts happening so fast! But my parents made a point to give this advice to Anthony and me before we all got carried away: to always keep in mind that a wedding is a day, and a marriage is a lifetime. And what a poignant and beautiful reminder that was. I will forever have the happiest memories of July 3, 2015; truly the best day ever. But now, the wedding cake is gone (yes, even the top tier) and the dust from moving in together has settled. And what are we left with? A beautiful, joyful, sacramental marriage. This doesn’t just happen, this is the result of intentional marriage preparation with our spiritual director, (not just the two hour class required of couples married in the Catholic church), reading books together about marriage and relationships, praying together, discussing the results of our personality tests, and a weekend retreat for engaged couples, among others. For couples without the option to use a priest or minister, premarital counseling with a professional therapist (like me in a few years!) is absolutely a worthwhile cost (and some insurances even cover it). Keeping this vital piece of advice in mind will help you to keep things in perspective when you realize the ink color on your invitations isn’t quite right (tragic).

Be mindful of the guest list

When a reader asked me to post about wedding planning with grace, the first thing I thought of was the guest list. Why? Because this was the part that, admittedly, I was not so graceful all the time. While I consciously did my best not to become a bridezilla, the guest list certainly tempted me. Between sticking to a budget, the venue’s physical capacity, and managing different opinions, the guest list was the trickiest part for us. For others, the guest list can bring out harbored family tensions or bring to light broken family relationships. One bride I talked to said 'the kids versus no kids' dilemma was at the forefront of her and her parents’ discussions. Which of your coworkers do you invite? What about your boss? Who gets a plus-one? Whatever the issue may be, the key to maintaining grace is to stay level-headed throughout all of the guest list conversations.

First, have both sets of parents, you, and your fiancé submit their guest lists (be very specific, i.e. don’t say “The Smith Family,” but specify which kids, if any). Count the total distinct guests, and decide if this number is okay or too big (either for budget reasons or the venue’s capacity). If it is too big, time to have a discussion about who doesn’t make the cut. As with all wedding planning dilemmas, don’t raise your voice, roll your eyes, or walk away from the conversation. Actively listen (not just hear) your fiancé, father, mother-in-law, best friend—whoever—and calmly tell them why you agree or disagree. Keep in mind, if you and your fiancé are not paying for all of the wedding, be very respectful of the opinions of those who are paying or contributing financially. The guest list total affects them significantly. 

 

Take time-outs with your fiancé

At the beginning of our engagement, Anthony and I talked about taking “time-outs” occasionally. We quickly realized the temptation for wedding planning to become stressful, and we didn’t want to fall into that trap. We promised that whenever we started to feel stressed or frustrated, or even when we were just excited, we would step away from what we were doing and take time to pray and take in that moment. Instead of getting caught up in the details, we would memorialize the moment by stating exactly where we were in the wedding planning process (i.e. “We are addressing our save the dates, for our WEDDING!”), as if looking at the moment from the outside. When we removed ourselves from the task, we were able to recognize the gravity of this step (i.e. instead of just stamping envelopes mindlessly, verbalizing the moment rejuvenated us with purpose and excitement that this getting married thing was actually happening). We would also verbalize that we were going to be each other’s husband and wife in just __ months, weeks, days, or hours. We would relish in that wonderful truth, and reflect on how God had blessed us by bringing us each other, and soon, by uniting us in marriage. We prayed in thanksgiving for this fact, and asked to be filled with the Holy Spirit as we continued wedding planning. Even though we were long-distance for some of our engagement, we would call each other to do this when one of us needed it. In essence, each time we took a time-out, we were harboring the excitement that we felt on the day we got engaged: the absolute joy and astonishment that we were actually going to soon be husband and wife.

 

Keep a journal to give to your fiancé

I actually had started writing a journal, and shortly thereafter my aunt sent me a notebook with a letter explaining how she had done this for my uncle. “Keep a journal throughout your engagement to give to Anthony the night before your wedding,” she wrote. Even though I was already doing this, I loved the idea even more because someone whose marriage I so admire had begun this way. I journaled about our wedding planning and marriage preparation milestones, such as picking out my wedding dress and deciding on our Nuptial Mass readings. There were no rules or guidelines; I simply wrote what I wanted Anthony to know or remember from that moment. I include this in the wedding planning tips because this journal furthered my excitement and perspective throughout the process. The journal, which sat next to my bed, reminded me what this chapter of life all about, even when I wasn’t writing. Just looking at that gold, narrow notebook, I would think about Anthony and reflect on how blessed I was to be marrying such a holy, kind, and gentle man.

The week before. . . Drop it!

Funny backstory: my sisters and I were never too impressed with wedding cake the way some people LOVE wedding cake (I feel like I'm breaking some wedding-lovers' code by admitting that). So, being the bakers we are, we always said that we would make our the wedding cake at our weddings. Well, when I got engaged, my dad got wind of this idea, and did not support it. Not because it wouldn't save a little money, but because he realized that adding the unnecessary pressure of making my own wedding cake the week of my wedding might not be the best stress-reliever. (Spoiler alert: my uber talented friend and consummate chef, Maureen Abood, offered to make the cake as an incredibly generous gift! It was exactly what my homemade-wedding-cake-dreams were made of.)

Well, my dad was actually on to something. The week of your wedding is chaos. But it will be the best kind of chaos if you navigate it right. As I described to a recent bride, planning a wedding felt like studying for a test in college—it seemed like there was always something more to do. Despite your inner Type A, somehow the wedding is eight days away, and you still have to tie the bows on the menus, fold the programs, arrange the escort cards. . .  While all of that seems crucial to your wedding day vision (ahem, Pinterest!), these are also the details that only you will notice if they don't get done. "Whatever you don't have done a week before the wedding doesn't need to be done. Enjoy the time with family and get enough sleep," my dad wisely cautioned. (Who knew dads knew so much about wedding planning?) If there is one thing that will ruin your efforts to be a graceful bride-to-be faster than you can say "bridezilla," it's a lack of sleep. My dad knew this, and had me on a curfew the whole week (thanks, Dad). Additionally, despite my inner control freak, I asked friends, family, neighbors, and my awesome wedding planner/coordinator to pitch in with the remaining tasks. While I still tied some bows and assembled guest bags that week (sorry, Dad), I didn't wince when some of the guest bags didn't get delivered in time. I found out later that I forgot to put out the framed photos of my parents' and grandparents' wedding day, but guess what? The day was still perfect. So pass-off or tear up your final to-do list, enjoy your company, and get some beauty rest, darling.

Dad knows best!

With a little grace,

                    Kelsey

Have some tips on wedding planning with grace that I forgot? Share them below in the comments!

* Photos by Cory Weber *

The Three S's of Every Outfit

While dressing for dinner, a night on the town, or an event such as a concert or a wedding, I try to balance the three S’s: sophisticated, self-assured, and sexy. Sexy?! Sexy is not—or at least doesn’t have to be—equivalent with revealing. While I prefer to categorize my style as classic and classy, the three S’s are not actually at odds with these adjectives, but rather can further describe and clarify the mystery of “classy style” for budding fashionistas. Bear with me as I employ the images by Haley Sieben Photography to break it down. . . 

 

Sophisticated

What comes to mind when we hear "sophisticated"? Classy, timeless, polished. Maybe images of Audrey Hepburn, Jackie O, or Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada begin to dance through our heads. As I've written before, what these women and that classy dame of a grandma of yours all have in common is a sense of style that transcends the ages, yet does not look outdated. Sophisticated style embodies a sense of worldliness without saying a word, but rather, by wearing it.

• Styling with a little grace: A long, slimming maxi dress brings the sense of class and modesty that begets sophistication. The detail of the polished belt ups the sophistication factor even more, adding a touch of glam.

Sexy

I had multiple second thoughts (so... third and fourth thoughts?) about including this word. It's mere utterance has the ability to turn one red with embarrassment and discredit what they thought was an otherwise wholesome journal (or it gives "street cred," as the kids say, to what was thought to be an otherwise old-fashioned journal). What often comes to mind when someone says "sexy" are scantily clad folk with tan, glistening skin. But I maintain that dressing sexy doesn't require you to strip down to your skivvies (in fact, please don't). A dress that is well-fitted but not tight, pants that are tailored but not too snug, a button down shirt that bares just the right amount of the décolletage, an off-the-shoulder top baring the shoulders and collarbone, or a low (V-cut) back all are sexy in their own regard. "Sexy"—at least by my definition—does not mean provocative; it means alluring and attractive with a sense of mystery. And mystery requires, as my parents always reminded me, that something be left to the imagination.

• Styling with a little grace: The V-neck and V-back of this dress reveal the right amount of skin in the right places, and a silhouette that grazes my curves but is not tight flatters my figure without showing too much.

 

Self-assured

This adjective rounds out the trio quite nicely. While some may think "sexy" is synonymous with revealing clothing, along comes "self-assured" to prove otherwise. One must be self-assured enough to know that they do not need to dress in low necklines and high hemlines to earn attention for their looks or portray their confidence. In fact, a woman must be confident enough in herself to know that she does not need to bare skin to feel self-assured, or worthy of attention, love, or confidence. She already feels assured in her worth, and her classy style of dress (coupled with her luminous smile and good posture!) portrays this to both men and women.

• Styling with a little grace: Taken together, the length of my maxi dress and the subtlety of skin shown around the neck and back create a balanced, self-assured look. The outfit, my smile, and the pop of lipstick express my confidence in my character, such that I do not need a high hemline or snug dress to attract attention.

Taking these three words together, you can achieve an outfit that is not too stuffy, frumpy, or sultry. When considered equally, this trio of words informs a style that is just the right amount of poised panache that is required of truly classic and classy style. 

With a little grace, 

              Kelsey

Thank you again to my beautiful cousin, Haley Sieben, for these stunning photos! Check out her page for more.

S'more brownies, please!

As the summer winds down, I love reminiscing about all the memories shared with family and friends at my parents' cottage in Harbor Springs, Michigan. Polar plunges into Lake Michigan, Saturday mornings at the farmer's market, backyard volleyball with the cousins, and making s'mores around the campfire. . . well, except that we don't have a campfire. My sister Tess has lamented missing out on this summer staple for years, but unfortunately there is no solution. Unless we want to dig right into the middle of a backyard volleyball game, there is just no place to put a fire pit. 

But just because we don't have a fire pit, doesn't mean we have to miss out on the quintessential summer treat—s'mores. Most people don't have fire pits or even fireplaces, but that doesn't mean s'mores have to be a distant childhood memory. So how, one might ask, do I propose we make  this summer treat?! My fellow Chicagoans might suggest the stovetop, but nay, I have s'more solutions that allow you to stop worrying about burning that marshmallow altogether.

Enter s'more brownies: the s'more alternative that is less of a hassle, less of a mess, less charred marshmallows, and more satisfying. Simply whip up a boxed brownie mix (c'mon does anyone really have a from-scratch recipe that's better than Ghirardelli's or Betty Crocker's boxed version?), pour atop a graham cracker crust (à la pies and cheesecakes), and after baking, top with marshmallows. Piece of. . . s'more?

While I know these treats can't quite fill the fire pit in my sister's heart, my cousins and siblings devoured them despite the availability of the famous Tom's Mom's cookies and after a Mama T feast. (There's no better compliment to a baker like an empty platter, right?) Regardless of your fire pit status, this twist on a summer classic is sure to elicit campfire nostalgia from those you share it with, while creating modern memories—and full bellies—of its own.

S'more Brownies

Graham Cracker Crust: (adapted from Joanna Gaines' graham cracker crust recipe)
1 ½ cups crushed graham crackers
6 Tbsp butter (softened)
⅓ cup sugar

1 Boxed Brownie Mix

1 Bag of Mini Marshmallows

1. Combine crushed graham cracker, softened butter, and sugar. Mix well and press into greased 9 x 9 or 8 x 8 baking dish (dependent on what your boxed brownie mix recommends). Bake for 8 minutes at 350°

2. Make brownies according to boxed mix instructions while crust is baking. Pour brownie mixture over baked graham cracker crust. Bake brownies according to box instructions, erring on the side of slightly uncooked.

3. Once brownies have almost baked, cover them completely with a layer of mini marshmallows. Broil or bake for about 5 minutes, or until marshmallows are golden brown.

 

Big Sister Baking Tip: Always bake with room temperature ingredients. Run eggs under warm water if not yet room temperature.

 

With a little grace,

                 Kelsey

Have you tried one of the recipes from With A Little Grace? Post a picture of your treat and hashtag #bakingwithalittlegrace so we all can see how it turned out!

Beat the Heat: Packing for a Hot Destination

August is here, which means one thing no matter where you are: it's likely to be hot! Although some students are already back-to-school shopping (what!), the summer temperatures and humidity are far from over. If you're headed on a summer vacation abroad, getting in one last weekend trip to the lake, or attending a wedding in the thick of wedding season, your wardrobe can help you manage the weather without sacrificing style—and without overpacking! 

Last summer, my newlywed husband, Anthony, and I traveled to Rome and the Amalfi Coast of Italy for our highly anticipated honeymoon. Anthony, being the romantic gentleman that he is, planned the entire honeymoon on his own, in order to surprise me. (I highly recommend this for engaged couples!) He decided, however, to let me know the location—and only that—of our romantic getaway before the big trip so that I could pack appropriately. And good thing he did—the temperatures were in the 90s the entire trip, and as we were leaving, we were told that we were "lucky to be missing the upcoming heat wave"—scusami?

Regardless if you are going on an exotic vacation in the tropics or if you are taking a weekend road trip to where the temps are equally tropical (ahem, right here in Chicago!), what clothes you pack are key to beat the heat. Take a peek into my suitcase to see what I packed for a couple weeks under the Italian sun.

brights

What better to match the scorching weather than equally hot, bright colors? There certainly is no better time for brights than warm weather, so pull out all the stops! This top, made to be a swim cover-up, was not the only bright piece I packed. You'll notice other bright ensembles in my Italian wardrobe.

 

swim cover-ups

Perfect for taking your swimsuit from beach to dinner, cover-ups can also double as a shield from the sun when you run out of sunblock on your day-long boat excursion. Not like I am speaking from experience, of course. . .
(Packing a swimsuit goes without saying if you are going to be near a pool, lake, ocean, or even a swimmable pond. Check out this post for one-piece swimsuit ideas.)

 

linen

There is a reason linen is called the "summer fabric" and is sold all over Italy's Amalfi Coast. It looks light and feels lightweight, perfect for hot and humid days. I actually bought this dress in Positano, so of course I had to wear it as soon as possible.

 

dresses

Okay, okay, you caught me. I will find any excuse to wear a dress, but dresses were made for the heat! You get to bare your arms and legs while keeping it breezy (just watch out for those Marilyn moments!) and there is certainly a dress for every occasion. Fancy dinner? Check. Lounging poolside? Check. Playing tourist in the city or sea? Check, check.

I got the headband I'm wearing as a scarf for 2 Euros outside the Vatican because I needed something to cover my legs before I went in. Being the thrifty gal that I am, I noticed it matched this dress and opted to use it to complete this outfit so the dress didn't stand alone.

Thanks to Colleen + Annie for the adorable dress + sunnies, and Erin for the monogrammed bag! You all know a thing or two about style...

 

accessories

With humidity so thick you could cut it, layering is a death sentence. So shoes, scarfs (that double as headbands or towels), jewelry, sunglasses, and bold lipstick are the best way to make your look a put-together outfit.

These retro-esque sunnies and a "little bit of lipstick" take my outfit from functional (hopping on a vespa with my Italian stallion!) to fashionable.

big sister tip: Try to pack accessories that go with multiple pieces, like this red and pink necklace, so you save space but multiply the amount of unique outfits you pack.

Wedges are a great choice for heels in the heat—no sinking into the mud or grass.

a wide-brimmed hat

Okay, this accessory is important enough that it made its own category. Wide-brimmed hats are key for protecting your face and neck from the sun if you are going to be outside all day, especially when the sun is most intense (typically between 10am and 3pm). Bonus: These hats are also perfect for the days you want to let that beachy hair from all the time in the sea go an extra day. . . or two . . . or three? 

Donning my hat at the beginning and end of the boat ride: pre- and post-swim and sunburn.

What are your tips for packing for a sunny vacation? What would you include that I forgot? 

With a little grace,

                  Kelsey

Marriage Monday: The Freedom of Marriage

As many readers may have noted from my last style post, the Fourth of July is a big holiday in our family—one worth preparing at least four outfits for. So last year, Anthony and I decided to take advantage of our favorite weekend of the year and get married on July 3, 2015. As we approached our first anniversary (that year went fast) I reflected on the joy that marriage has brought to my life. The week before our first anniversary and the Fourth of July, on Sunday, June 26th, the Catholic Mass readings conveniently spoke of freedom, particularly the second reading from Galatians. In his homily that day, Fr. Kevin Feeney reflected on our country's upcoming Independence Day and the meaning of freedom as it relates to the institution colloquially associated with the ol' ball and chain—marriage. With his timely homily and the juxtaposition of our upcoming first anniversary and Independence Day, I pondered the perceived paradox of the freedom of marriage.

Many young adults—spurred on by a culture of relativism, “you do you,” instant gratification, and lack of commitment—intentionally put off marriage in attempt to experience independence. They don’t want to be tied down by marriage, by commitment, by another person. We are trained to equate freedom with selfishness, pursuing our own desires and dreams. Talking with an acquaintance as a junior in college, we stumbled upon the topic of marriage—a heavy topic for people who just had met. Having dated my now husband, Anthony, for two years at that point, and having discerned marriage as our vocation, I expressed my desire and intent to marry Anthony someday soon. A few years my senior, this relative stranger was completely baffled by the idea that I, a millennial in the prime of her social life and sexual potential, would want to “get tied down” with someone. He asked genuinely, “But don’t you want to experience. . . life? Why would you want to get married so soon?” Why would you want to give up your freedom? he seemed to say.

Our independence is not only valued as a nation, but as a society. We pride ourselves in being a democratic nation, but modern society also revels in the idea of sexual freedom, open relationships, or no emotional relationships at all. We find it empowering to be able to date or be in relation with someone but not owe them anything, not to be legally or even emotionally tied to them, to see who cares less if someone walks away, to experience this type of so-called freedom. However, this type of behavior is not actually freeing at all. Contrary to what our culture expresses, this type of behavior confines its participants as slaves of the flesh.

“For you were called for freedom, brothers and sisters. But do not use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh; rather, serve one another through love." (Galatians 5:13)

True freedom, Fr. Feeney noted, involves giving ourselves away. In the vows I made on my wedding day, I gave myself to my husband and in turn, I received him: "I, Kelsey, take you, Anthony, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life." Marriage, the act of complete emotional, physical, and spiritual commitment, is actually the ultimate display of freedom. In giving of myself wholly to my husband, I am free to be myself; moreover, I am free to be who Christ intended me to be. In promising to be there "in good times and in bad" my husband receives me as I am, freeing me of the pressure to be perfect, to put on a good face, or play the game of love right. I am free to be my genuine, weird self around him, to burp loudly (sorry, Dad) and to bare my blemished face. I am not tied down by fear of judgment or insecurities, but rather I am free to be vulnerable with Anthony—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I am free to live by the Holy Spirit, not bound by the desires of the flesh: “If you are guided by the Spirit, you are not under the law" (Galations 5:18). If you are guided by the Spirit, St. Paul wrote, you are truly free.

Reciting our vows to one another on our wedding day.

I came to realize the juxtaposition of our wedding date and the Fourth of July are significant not only because we were able to have our family and friends in our favorite place—Harbor Springs—for both our wedding and the old-time American town's quintessential holiday festivities. But the proximity of the two dates also reflects the close relationship of marriage and freedom. As I heard in those readings on that Sunday in June and as Jesus exemplified so perfectly on the cross, to be truly free we have to give ourselves away, to rise we must first die. In living for someone else, as in the sacrament of marriage, therein lies true freedom.

With a little grace,

              Kelsey

Happy first anniversary to the most important person in my life, my husband. Your love has truly given me an unparalleled sense of freedom, self, and encouragement, which has resulted in a new career and the start of this journal. I can't wait to see where our marriage leads us this next year. I love you!

Four Outfits for the Fourth of July

The Fourth of July is my favorite holiday. Our family always spends the Fourth in Harbor Springs, Michigan. It is a quaint little harbor town, aka “God’s country,” that swells to ten times its size on its most popular day of the year. With the parade, the art fair, the fireworks over the harbor, and tunes of “America the Beautiful" floating from the church, this picturesque harbor town is straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. (These were many of the reasons we chose to get married here at this time of year, but more on that later.) Many of my nearly fifty first cousins come to visit and enjoy the ideal northern Michigan weather, meaning there is no shortage of fun, from backyard volleyball to ice cream bike rides to Yummies. In my opinion, there is no better place to celebrate America. With such an emphasis on the Fourth, it comes as no surprise that Independence Day outfits are highly anticipated in Harbor Springs.

The Fancy Outfit

While cut-offs and a tee are the classic look for Independence Day, I always love to dress it up a little. Most of my Fourth of July outfits have been dresses, as they are nice and breezy in the July heat. If you find any dress with red and blue—even if you think the style or the fabric is slightly too fancy for the Fourth—dare to wear it! With red nails, a red bow, red-framed sunglasses, or "just little red lipstick" (like I’m wearing here) a red and blue dress is sure to be perfect for a patriotic picnic or parade. Bonus points for a flare that challenges the flares in the night sky.

• Styling with a little grace: The flare at the bottom of this dress takes it from schoolgirl plaid to party. While the stretch cotton allows it to be worn casually, this English Factory number has serious re-wearability thanks to the flare at the bottom. I'm already planning to wear this dress to a wedding this summer, and can't wait to see it twirl on the dance floor.

• Styling with a little grace: These white eyelet shoes complete the red, white, and blue ensemble while their slingback kitten heel maintains the retro vibe of the dress. The real cherry on top, though, is the hand-stiched fireworks on the coin purse that was hand-crafted by the uber-talented, Caili Dalian of Dilly Dalian.

 

The Nautical Outfit

I know many Americans spend their Independence Day lakeside (like we do), on either coast, or at the pool, which is why this nautical number is so fitting for the Fourth. While the sail boats and nautical striped shorts scream patriotism and parades, the outfit is equally comfortable and versatile for a game of backyard whiffleball or volleyball (I can attest to this). Bump, set, spike.

• Styling with a little grace: Going for a victory dip after the volleyball game? The red and white striped shorts work perfectly with a navy and white one-piece swimsuit, like mine in this post, which can double as a top.

• Styling with a little grace: I throw on a linen white blazer to make this fun summer look a bit more polished, or if the weather turns chilly on me. I bought this whole outfit a few summers back at J.Crew Factory (the just-as-cute but won't-break-the-bank version of J.Crew). The holiday weekend is a great time to stock up on your red, white, and blue. But don't you dare buy anything there full price—they are known for big sales, especially around holidays (we're talking 30%-60% off).

 

The Outfit Already in Your Closet

In a time-crunch before the Fourth, but looking at your closet thinking "I have nothing to wear"? Well, I bet you've got some of this. If you have any striped article of clothing—shirt, shorts, dress, or romper—in any shade of blue—baby blue, periwinkle, royal blue, true blue, or navy—then you have an outfit for the Fourth. Most women have blue and white stripes of some sort sitting in their closest, but simply overlook them. Just like this stretchy, packable Saint James striped dress that doubles as a cover-up, all you need is a patriotic or red headpiece, and you're off to the races. 

• Styling with a little grace: Missing red, white, or blue? Grab a patriotic headband, like this turban style from The Quiet Sunshine Shop (my college roommate's Etsy store!) to complete your Independence Day look. My headband was at my doorstep just two days after ordering, and it fits the music festival trend that is all the rage right now, too.

The Night-Time Fireworks Outfit

Whatever you wear during the day, the American flag scarf is sure to match your red, white, and blue (isn’t that the point?). For less than $10 this patriotic scarf can take your outfit from day-time barbecuing to night-time fireworks, without compromising style. I just ordered one for my mom (surprise, Mom!) because she was eyeing mine on Memorial Day.

• Styling with a little grace: Still too hot for white jeans? Substitute white shorts instead. A button-up can be easily rolled up or unbuttoned a little to accommodate the heat. The scarf can serve as both an accessory to keep you warm, or a blanket to sit on in the grass when watching the sky explode

• Styling with a little grace: This look can easily be reversed if you don’t have white jeans or a blue/chambray shirt. Just throw on a white tee and jeans (I know you have that!) and this flag scarf will tie it all together and take the look from blasé to beautiful.

With a little grace,

                Kelsey

Happy Fourth of July! Please share comments below! I am happy to provide more outfit details or recommendations on where to buy, if desired. A huge thank you to Ashley Bernet for beautifully photographing all four outfits! (All photos courtesy of Ashley Bernet)

"Be the Best Version of Yourself"

“You realize how selfish you’ve been your whole life once someone else needs you in order to survive,” I heard this the other day, and I am sure it rings true to every parent. Given my significant age gap with Grace, I often feel that I get a glimpse of what it’s like to be a parent. She’s my own flesh and blood, I want to protect her, guide her, and I love her no matter what. But I’ve never had to provide for her in the way parents do. While she looks up to me, she doesn’t rely on me the way she relies on my parents. That quote reminds me of my dad, who has continued to sacrifice and work tirelessly for his children. He is constantly thinking of how he can better his children's lives, and provide for them. 

My dad is a pretty magnificent man. He’s accomplished everything that most people set out to do in all aspects of life. His life is defined by relentless hard work and humility, and the success that he has earned because of that. To say the least, our stellar dad set the bar pretty high for my six siblings and me. Dad certainly expected a lot out of us growing up—in school, on the field, at home, but most importantly, in our character. Dad always encouraged us, “Be the best version of yourself.” Be the best student, athlete, friend, daughter, sister, and person you can possibly be, he seemed to say. Dad didn’t demand perfection, but his constant encouragement to be our best selves (peppered by telling us how proud he was of us) motivated us to be whatever "best" looked like for each of us. When I wasn’t giving my all on the field, when I found myself putting forth a half-hearted effort in class, when I failed to stay true to the morals and values my parents had instilled in me, I could hear his voice, prompting me, be the best version of yourself.

For my wedding, I gifted my parents with three plaques made of Michigan wood, the third reading, "Be the Best Version of Yourself."

More than any role in sports or school, Dad was most intent that we be the best versions of ourselves when it came to our character. Comportment was king; personal leadership, integrity, and morality were of utmost importance to Dad. More than any academic or athletic accolades, Dad was most proud of his kids for honors that reflected good character.

In my first year of marriage, however, I realized that concern for how I carry myself in public—at work, in the grocery store, on the train, even with friends—is not sufficient. Indeed, character is who you are when no one else is watching, as my dad's beloved John Wooden proclaimed. But if I could expand Coach Wooden's saying just a little, I would say character is also who you are when your spouse is looking. It's easier to put our best face forward to the world, but it can be most difficult to give our best selves to those that deserve it the most—our loved ones. Yet our siblings, parents, and spouses are often the ones that see our ugly side, the part of us not presented on our highlight reels of social media. They are the recipients of our anger, our frustration, our less-than-best selves. Taking their love and forgiveness for granted, we come home so exhausted, stressed, and busy that often our family becomes our landing pad for those emotions.

In the book The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love, married couple DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good continually stress that your spouse should help make you the “best version of yourself.” I knew I was in for a good read because I could hear my dad saying that well known mantra every time I read it. While my husband has vowed to love me in bad times and in my shameful moments, it does not mean I shouldn't attempt to be the best version of myself for him. Inevitably, there will be bad days that lead to bitterness or bickering. Certainly, being my best self does not mean being disingenuous or covering up painful emotions. Attempting to control anger or annoyances does not mean compromising honesty, vulnerability, or open communication. The ability to be vulnerable is vital to the survival of a marriage or any healthy relationship, be it friend, spouse, or family. My husband and I have a marriage founded on emotional vulnerability and transparency; we have been brutally honest about ourselves, each other, and our relationship since we were first dating. The ability to be authentic and vulnerable in a relationship allows us to let ourselves be loved, even our imperfect parts, imitating God's perfect love for us. But if there is anyone who deserves my best self, it's the one who loves me when I'm not. 

As The Wait chronicles, choosing the right spouse means choosing someone who will bring out the best in you, who will help you become—and who will make you want to be—the best version of yourself. I’ve realized that by carefully, thoughtfully, and prayerfully discerning and selecting my husband as my spouse, I ended up following my dad’s adage in the most important way possible. While my dad is certainly proud of my accomplishments in field hockey and school, I know nothing makes him beam more than knowing I will continue to become the best version of myself through the vocation of marriage.

With a little grace,

                   Kelsey

Happy Father's Day to my magnificent dad, and all dads! As always, I would love to hear your thoughts or suggestions via email or comment.

Blackberry Bumble Bars

As I sit here and smell the warm, summery scent of blackberry pie fill our cozy apartment, I'm reminded of one of my fondest college memories. My six college roommates and I had our favorite professor, Professor Wright, over for dinner. Professor Wright's class was, fittingly, a small writing seminar. She was an eccentric yet elegant woman, who looked something like Lady Gaga and Donatella Versace to me. She had been highly recommended by an older teammate, and I refused to take this writing seminar until I had her as my professor. Unlike many professors who seemed to enjoy teaching us one thing and testing us on another, Professor Wright's class was hard, but fair. She taught us grammar and writing in such a way that it should be compulsory for all students to take her class. I still have the note she attached to my final paper, encouraging me to keep writing. My husband hung it in our bathroom beside the mirror as daily encouragement to start this blog!

If I could give Grace one piece of advice when she heads off to college one day, it would be to host her favorite professor for dinner with some of her best friends. (Okay, that might not be my one piece of advice, but it definitely makes the top five.) It was the spring of our senior year, and thanks to the persistence of my roommates, I emailed Professor Wright about coming to our off-campus house for a homemade dinner. One of my roommates, Fallon, a fellow baker (who originally introduced me to the creator of this recipe, Joy the Baker), was on dessert duty. A warm, June evening, we decided on salad, chicken piccata, homemade white wine sangria, and these blackberry pie bars. The aroma, the company, the conversation—these were all details of that night that I hope will never fade. After an evening of laughter, soulful conversation, and life advice from Professor Wright, we shamelessly licked the pan clean of Fallon's delectable desserts. 

Since then, friends, co-workers, and neighbors have awarded these treats the titles: “blackberry butter bumble” or “BBB” for short, "blackberry bumble bars," “blackberry butter crack,” and my favorite, “crackberry bars.” Although I’m not sure what “bumble” actually is, it seems to describe these bars well. What makes these bars so good? I’m convinced it’s the lemon sugar you use to make the dough. You pour the sugar and lemon zest together on a hard surface, and use the back of a spoon to rub the zest into the sugar. What once were two separate ingredients become one, pale yellow, crystalized yet fluffy version of sugar that makes for the most irresistible crust and pie topping. 

The blackberries and hint of lemon are perfect for this season of farmer’s markets, barbecues, and summer soirées. You can try substituting blueberries, raspberries, or maybe even mulberries (just for you, Uncle Jacob) for the blackberries depending on preference. Much easier and foolproof than a pie, you can serve these bars chilled, or warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream—have your pick. However you serve them, these bars are sure to stir memorable conversation with any crowd. 

Blackberry Pie Bars with Lemon Sugar
adapted from Joy the Baker

Crust and Topping
3 cups all-purpose flour
1-1/2 cups sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1-1/2 cups (3 sticks) chilled unsalted butter, cut into cubes
zest of two lemons

Blackberry Filling
4 large eggs
2 cups sugar
1 cup real Greek yogurt (or sour cream)
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
Pinch of salt
6 cups of fresh blackberries (or 2 x 16-ounce packages frozen blackberries, defrosted and drained*)
*If using frozen berries, be sure to defrost and drain the excess liquid. Place the frozen berries on a plate in the refrigerator overnight.

To make the crust and topping:

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F.

2. Grease a 9 x 13-inch baking pan with butter or cooking spray and set aside.

3. Zest two lemons. Measure out the sugar for the crust and topping (1-1/2 cups) onto a clean work surface. Rub the lemon zest into the sugar with a bench scraper or the back of a spoon. Rubbing the zest into the sugar will release oils from the zest and create a lemon scented sugar.

4. Combine lemon sugar, flour, salt and butter in an electric mixer fit with a paddle attachment. (If you don’t have an electric mixer, an electric hand mixer will work.) Beat the ingredients on medium speed until the mixture combines and appears crumbly.

5. Reserve 1-1/2 cups of the crust mixture to use as the topping. (I reserve a little more than this because inevitably I eat the dough while the crust bakes.) Press the remaining mixture into the bottom of the pan.

6. Bake the crust for 12-15 minutes. Let cool for 10 minutes while you make the filling.

To make the filling:

1. Whisk the eggs in a large bowl.

2. Stir in the sugar (2 cups), Greek yogurt (or sour cream), flour, and salt.

3. Gently fold in the blackberries.

4. Spoon the mixture evenly over the crust. You may have to distribute the blackberries evenly around. Sprinkle the reserved crust mixture evenly over the filling.

5. Bake for 45-55 minutes until the top is lightly browned. Cool for 1 hour before slicing.

With a little grace,

                 Kelsey

I would love to hear from you! Please comment below with feedback or ideas, share the posts you like, or email me with suggestions!

"Just a Little Lipstick…”

Growing up, I remember gold and silver tubes of lipstick stashed in the kitchen junk drawer amid pens, pencils, and rubber bands; in the glove compartment of the Toyota Previa mini-van, hidden between dollar bills, ketchup packets, and loose change; and in the pockets of Mom’s purses under stranded gum wrappers and spare tissues. Melted and messy, lipstick never appealed to me (other than to play dress up, of course). Mom, on the other hand, seemed to think of it as magic in a tube. Scrounging in the kitchen drawers and filing through her Mary Poppins purse, my mom would whisper to herself, “I just need a little lipstick…” before running out the door with a tube of it in hand.

As I entered high school and began to wear makeup, I never was interested in lipstick. As I matured and entered college though, lipstick suddenly became my makeup of choice. I felt that lipstick gave me the polished or glam look that I wanted to achieve as a twenty-year-old. I discovered that the bold shades of red I now love to wear (to my husband’s dismay) give off an air of confidence. Finally, the mystery that was my mom’s love for lipstick was solved: the color on my lips, whether subtle or strong, brightened my face, made my eyes pop, and drew attention to my smile. What was not to love?

As this is the last in my series of posts inspired by my mom in honor of Mother’s Day and her birthday, I would be remiss not to discuss her signature characteristic—her smile. Whether Mom recognized her megawatt smile as her best physical feature or not, she always taught us the importance of smiling. When you walk into a room and you feel nervous, uncomfortable, or everyone is looking at you, smile, she would tell us. Smiling makes you seem more relaxed, confident, and approachable. When you are unsure of what to say or find yourself in an awkward situation, smile, she advised. Smiling makes you more friendly, kind, and beautiful to others and to yourself, as I learned from watching my mother over the years. While my siblings and I may have teased Mom for her seeming need for lipstick, she knew what she was doing (as always). My mom is truly the most naturally beautiful and effortlessly elegant woman I have ever known. She has sparkling blue eyes, high cheekbones, and a big, stunning smile. She does not need an ounce of makeup. While I don’t think any woman needs makeup (as I learned from 40 days without it!), I finally realized why my mom had lipstick in nearly every nook and cranny. A small swipe of lipstick has the power to magnify the confidence and warmth brought out by the simple, beautiful act of smiling.

When I picture my mom, I view her with that open-mouth smile and her head cocked back slightly, laughing. And so, I think this is why I came to love lipstick, because I associate it with my mom’s famous, genuine smile. I see how it brings out her best feature and enhances her smiling nature, and I hope lipstick has this same effect on me. If she doesn’t have time to put on anything else, she almost always swipes on "just a little lipstick," and now, I see why. 

How to apply

1. As any beauty guru knows, the first step to a perfect pout is to exfoliate your lips. Using a damp washcloth or towel, rub bare lips vigorously to rid them of any dry skin.

2. For a neutral base, dab a little foundation or concealer on your lips. (Some prefer to use a neutral lip liner and completely fill in the lips here instead.)

3. Carefully swipe on your lipstick of choice.

4. Press your lips together with a tissue between them ("smacking" your lips together but separated by a tissue). This removes excess color.

5. Put on a second coat of lipstick.

6. Using your finger, dab a little bit of loose translucent powder (I use bareMinerals Mineral Veil) to make the lipstick last longer. This step is key for setting the lipstick, ensuring it will stay on despite sipping, eating, or talking.

7. Smile!

When to wear each color

• A bright pink fuchsia, like my Clinique Long Last Matte Lipstick in Matte Magenta, is great for a hot summer day, paired with pastels, twirly sundresses, and sun-streaked hair. It's flirty and fun, so this color can be worn casually during the day or to jazz up your look for date night.

• Classic red is just that—classic and timeless! Celebs and stars like Audrey Hepburn to T-Swift have been wearing this color for decades. It works equally well for the 4th of July as it does for Christmas! If you don't think you can pull off red lipstick, then you just have not found the right shade. The blue, orange, pink, and brown undertones of red lipsticks prove there really is a red for every skin tone. This Bite Beauty Cashmere Lip Cream in Rioja was the first bold lipstick I donned, and I've been using it ever since! The cream-to-matte formula allows for easy application, is extremely long-lasting, but doesn't feel dry! It was the first formula of its kind, and now almost all makeup brands have followed suit. (The Sephora brand copy-cat of this formula is about half the price and comes in several shades! I have the Sephora Collection Luster Matte Long-Wear Lip Color in Deep Plum and love it.)

• Purple shades are all the rage right now. I don't feel quite bold enough to wear a true purple lipstick (despite the fact that I bleed purple—go 'cats!), so I started with a pinky-purple, like this Bite Beauty Matte Creme Lip Crayon in Aubergine - Eggplant. A couple extra swipes will lend more to its purple nature, but just one or two brings out a more subtle pink, like I did in this post. Wear this shade for a night out, or a fancy event to up your wow-factor.

• A neutral palette provides the pop my mom was looking for in all those drawers, without drawing too much attention. I used to think that neutral lipstick was the same as wearing nothing on your lips, but I've learned I was very wrong. A neutral lipstick, such as Nars Lipstick in Catfight is perfect for work, situations in which you want to maintain your professionalism, or when wearing heavier eye makeup. (Mom always taught me to emphasize lips OR eyes—not both!) Most of my mom's lipsticks were neutral hues, similar to her natural lip color, but they added a punch to any ensemble by instantly brightening her face and smile.

Whatever shade of lipstick you choose, remember to smile! Before you know it, you might be digging through every pocket and drawer looking for that magic little tube, too.

With a little grace,

               Kelsey